What does the future hold?

From the moment my water broke at 32 weeks until the moment before I saw the twins in the NICU I thought I could never carry a child for someone else again.  I thought that there was no way I could take on that responsibility.  That even though I did everything as the Dr ordered, I felt that I had failed the twins and A. 

But that all changed the moment I saw the twins in person and knew that they were going to be okay despite some time in the nursery.  I feel that being a surrogate is something I was meant to do.  I was put on this earth to help others and to share the gift of children with others. 

Before my husband would agree for me to do another journey he asked me to put into words the pro's and con's of surrogacy.  I explained in my 3 page letter to him that I feel that surrogacy has helped me teach our children about compassion, love, dedication, caring, selflessness, and sacrifice.  I also explained that seeing others struggle through infertility made me have a greater appreciation and love for my children.  I feel that as a family we are much more spiritually and emotionally connected.  Through this journey I feel we have been able to further teach our boys to accept people no matter their sexual orientation, race, color, etc.  The journey of surrogacy made me a much better wife, mother and person.  And we also have gained at least 3 more members of our family.

Surrogacy also helped our family financially, it afforded us some wonderful things, things we've desired but could not normally afford.  The financial end was nice but to me the most amazing part of this journey was the change I saw in my entire family, the appreciation for and dedication to one and other. 

Now, what does the future hold?  At this point only God knows.  I hope to say that I will be graced with the ability to bless another family with a child or children, but that is out of our hands.  Only time will tell.